


darling, let's hurt tonight

by downforce



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Summer 2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 12:12:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8800399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downforce/pseuds/downforce
Summary: It's kind of ironic, the thing that they both love with their whole hearts, the thing that brought them together and made it possible for them to develop such a deep bond; the same thing tearing them apart, chewing their friendship with its razor-sharp teeth and spitting their hearts out in splinters.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A ficlet inspired by the interview where Lewis says he went down to the pool to talk to Nico and Nico confirming he still lives in the same building as Lewis.
> 
> A big thank you to [Mel](http://aaron-dinglesugden.tumblr.com) for screaming about Brocedes with me!

Lewis is casually sitting on the balcony, Coco draped over his legs, dozing away. The sun is setting slowly and he’s enjoying the last bits of Monaco warmth. It’s been a rather quiet day, unusual for the ever-buzzing Monte Carlo, but the summer heat during the day made everything involving movement, unbearable. 

He sighs and stares off into the distance, thinking about everything and nothing. Summer break is almost over and that means returning to the tracks and the hard work. Sure, he has missed racing and he still has a championship to win, but the demanding job always makes him long for a break that lasts a bit longer than just two mere months in the whole year.

Suddenly he spots a figure moving in the pool and he watches the person swim round and round; seemingly enjoying the cool water. Only when the person takes a break and lifts themselves up to sit next to the pool, he recognises the familiar curves of Nico's body. 

Lewis sighs again and watches Nico for a moment. His teammate seems relaxed and at ease, even though it’s difficult to read his body language from where Lewis is sat. A nagging voice in his mind tells him to go down and exchange a few words with Nico. 

He hesitates at first; they haven't really talked much and the competition is harder than ever, but then he thinks  _ Fuck it _ and moves a disgruntled Coco to the side. So what if they have parted on bad terms before the summer break, they still have many more months to go together and when the chance arises, why shouldn’t he take it and try to improve their situation?

It’s not like Lewis doesn’t want them to be friends again, quite the opposite. He misses the old Nico, his once best friend, the one he used to share his deepest thoughts with. Sometimes Lewis catches himself thinking that he would exchange everything he has just to get his friendship with Nico back. But those thoughts are poisonous and twisted, how could he want to choose a friendship over racing and three championships?

Despite having to go down several floor levels, Lewis takes the stairs; the elevator would have been easier and faster, but he needs to figure out what to say. After all, Nico has become kind of a stranger in the past two years, a fact that makes Lewis' heart heavy whenever he thinks of it. He often wonders where they went wrong. Was it simply the competition that tore them apart? The fact that they had to go separate ways to get into Formula One? Probably a bit of everything.    
  
As he reaches the door, he still hasn't made his mind up, so he decides to just let Nico take over the conversation. Talking has always been Nico’s forte anyway. He smiles as he remembers Nico ordering them food in fluent italian when they drove the short way to the other country. Languages came easily to the german who grew up multilingual; meanwhile Lewis stuck to English. Nico always used this to his advantage, on many occasions he translated other people’s words for Lewis just to make up an entirely different story that would leave Lewis confused and misunderstanding.  _ Yes _ , Lewis thinks as he reaches the front door,  _ those were the good times _ . 

He slowly walks to the pool, Nico already swimming again with his back turned to him. He settles on sitting at the far corner, his legs dangling in the pleasantly cool water. It takes a couple of minutes for Nico to see him and when he sees the surprise on Nico's face, Lewis almost regrets coming for a second. That regret soon turns into anxiety as Nico swims towards him after hesitating for only a moment. He pulls himself up next to Lewis and shakes the water out of his hair; spraying his teammate, but Lewis doesn’t mind. In fact, the simple gesture and closeness to Nico make him shiver. They don't say anything for a couple of moments, both not knowing what to say.   
  
It hurts, the fact that they went from best friends who wanted to conquer the world to strangers who throw each other bitter looks. There are entire universes between their past relationship and the tainted one they have now. Lewis would walk through every single universe just to get to the one where he can be Nico’s best friend again, if he has to.    
  
"Hi," Lewis finally says, the silence getting too heavy. "Training at this time of the day?" It's such a simple question, however still dangerous because it reminds them of work and the knife it has driven into their friendship.    
  
"Yeah, well, we never really stop, do we?" Nico answers after a short pause and the left corner of his mouth turns up slightly. It’s the familiar teasing half-smile, the one Lewis barely gets to see anymore. Nico used to smile at him like that when they talked about whatever had happened on that particular day. Lewis used to prefer the full-blown smiles, the ones that lit up Nico’s entire face and made his teeth shine bright in the sun. For now though, he will settle for every tiny smile he can get.    
  
"No, I guess not" Lewis sighs and awkwardly splashes the water with his legs. He hates this, conversation used to come to them so easily and now it's all gone; all they have left are memories that make him wonder again. What really went wrong with them? It must have been the racing. It's kind of ironic, the thing that they both love with their whole hearts, the thing that brought them together and made it possible for them to develop such a deep bond, the same thing tearing them apart, chewing their friendship with its razor-sharp teeth and spitting their hearts out in splinters.   
  
"Sometimes, sometimes I wish we could stop." Lewis continues, not saying what exactly he wants to stop, he knows Nico will understand. Pick up on the undertones in his voice, those that have always been reserved for Nico alone. The undertones that used to layer his voice when they whispered to each other late at night, exchanging their secrets and desires.   
  
A bird settles next to them, picking on the ground and Lewis wishes he could just spread his wings and fly away from everything; his work, the championship, the pressure and his broken relationship with Nico. But he's bound to the ground and so he can only sit next to the man he misses so much when he lies awake at night and remembers the fun they had together.    
  
"I mean, if you want to...," Nico hesitates and Lewis turns his head towards him, drinking in the sight of his chiselled profile against the setting sun and his glowing blonde hair; encouraging him silently to continue with a lopsided smile.  "You can come by for dinner tomorrow. If you have time and it wouldn't be inconvenient."    
  
Nico twists his hands together nervously and the gesture alone makes Lewis want to take his hands and squeeze them, because how could he believe for a moment that Lewis would think he's inconvenient?   
  
"I would really like that." He says and smiles at his friend and enemy; the best and worst person in his life, but whatever relationship they might have right now and however tainted it may be, Nico has always been a constant in his life, starting at 13 when they met and Lewis can’t imagine a life without him. Nico returns the smile and for a moment he looks like he wants to hug him. 

Secretly, Lewis wishes he would, he yearns for the closeness they had shared, the familiar touches and embraces, the comforting cheek kisses Nico used to give him whenever he felt down. Oh, how he wishes they could rebuild that closeness. But Nico doesn’t make a move and the moment passes.

  
"We will just make it stop for a while, right?" Nico says and finally, for the first time in months, his hand fleetingly touches Lewis' arm as he pushes himself back into the pool. The blue water parts around his sculpted body and he swims away with strong moves.    
  
Lewis finds himself nodding silently, not caring that Nico can’t even see him. He knows that Nico understands him, can still pick up every cue in his body language like he always used to back then. With a sigh, he discards his shirt and follows his teammate into the cool water, not caring about anything else than enjoying some time with Nico, and only Nico alone.    
  
_ Maybe _ , he thinks as he watches his teammate move through the waves,  _ maybe we can fix this _ .

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Come talk to [me](http://dailyformulaone.tumblr.com) or leave a comment/kudos


End file.
